


The Dice Was Loaded From The Start

by Clandestina



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-16 13:33:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3490127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clandestina/pseuds/Clandestina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Laura and Carmilla meet and work at an amusement park.</p><p>They're really competitive in a really strange way and the sexual tension can be cut with a knife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any imperfections, I just had to get this out of my head. I just wrote a research paper, life is hard.

You remember people warning you about how much you would hate a place you love once you worked there. It turns out that even amusement parks are as awful as the seventh level of hell.

There is cotton candy-themed vomit on the ground and more balloon carcasses on the floor than your back can handle at 12:13am.

It doesn't help that there are certain coworkers that don't seem to ever tire. They yell and argue about football or baseball while eating leftover nachos. It doesn't annoy you as much as it would if it weren't your ex date person (?) and the cutest boy there.

You're happy for her even if she'd annoyed you with her overprotective ways.

It's all annoying at this point and you try hard to be positive.

You're sick of cotton candy and the flashing lights of the park. You're tired of picking up the most creative littering props. Sometimes you consider wandering into the house of mirrors to pretend you got lost so you can take a nap. Or to do literally anything else.

When you'd applied for this job you'd figured that it would go well from the two possibilities: it could be a fun job or there will be at least one hot girl.

Well it turns out that life likes to teach you lessons so you'd gotten a fun, in a (really) warped sense, job and a hot coworker who you did get to date for a bit. There was also a another (really) hot coworker who doesn't speak to anyone unless she wants to murder them with words. 

She'd turned up out of nowhere after your section's (cleaning crew) other worker left unexpectedly. You'd had cautiously high hopes to build a pleasant environment even though your actions didn't really show it. It just put you on edge that she didn't talk at all. Sometimes she just ignored you.

Not speaking to anyone is fine but you're the friendly type and you can't help but speak to people. You'd accepted that quality of yours long ago. It's in this job that you find not everyone is weak for your charms and curiosity.

But it's fine. You settle for being content to have a job that at least provides different challenges every day.  
And that's the thought that settles in your head while you scrub pink goo off the floor.

You really miss girls and kissing them so you'd worked things out so you'd be cleaning up near her. Because she's just so pretty.

She's tidying up some booth nearby and, due to how restless and bored you were that entire day, you convince yourself to experiment with some poses. To attract her. Or her attention that is.

If anyone is to make scrubbing goo glamorous then it probably is not to be you, but who are you to not try?

A dramatic hair flip that leaves your shoulder quite bared does the trick. You catch her turn to see you, but she moves on quickly to scan the rest of her surroundings.

The day has been long and the goo is nearly gone so you settle for that small victory. There was no grimace or look of utter disinterest on her face, and that is excellent.

You go on various possible scenarios for your first conversation when she taps your shoulder. At whatever point she decided to move and approach you: you do not know. But she is there now and she looks not very pleased.

"Heyyyyy," you say. It comes out like how a teenage boy would say it but you remain positive. Maybe that'll give her vibes of "you're really hot holy shit"?  
She could also just be there to tell you that you've missed various spots of pink vomit.

You look at her name tag and it reads: Carmilla. 

She makes a face that says "noted" and looks down in search of something.

"Hey um can I borrow one of your sponges," she backtracks in disgust, "One of the ones you haven't used."

In trying to keep your cool you jerk your hand up, holding a dirty sponge, too quickly in an attempt to move your hair away from your face. 

And you splash dirty water on her.

She freezes and seems to be holding in a really large breath. You remain still, half thinking that this is your imagination messing with you.

Literally what else could've happened with this exchange between you (you) and an attractive girl?

You come to your senses and everything starts happening really fast and you curse the damn spinning chairs that cause the goo.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, holy shit, um what can I do to help? Say anything! Oh god," the words come out in hopes that she'll give you a reaction that isn't "I will kill you" or something of that variation.

She holds her hands up, "Well, cupcake you can start by not waving that Very Wet sponge around."

The setting of this nightmare (all these color lights) certainly helps with hiding the vibrant color of your face. The rides and general lighting are shut off by the last worker there.

You drop the sponge altogether as a symbol of "whatever you say" and "please forgive me, you're just so hot and I'm really weak against that smirk".

"Ok sorry. I'm really sorry. Again. Let me help you? You can borrow my sweater so you can change," you say in your best pleading (yet cute) way.

"This is incredibly disgusting. If I could set this shirt on fire I would. So I guess I've got no other option," she says.

The rest of the night doesn't go as well as it could've in a movie. Sometimes things really end in the hot and annoyed girl borrowing your sweater and leaving you feeling incredibly guilty and embarrassed.

\-----

She gives it back to you the next day. Almost 24 hours since you disgustingly made a first impression. 

She kind of just stares and smirks when you try to chat her up.

And she leaves without a word.

\------

She avoids you a lot after that. You still feel embarrassed and look for ways to make it up to her but she never gives you the chance to get near her.

It's been pretty busy every day so you think she probably hates you and is very busy.

You think she kind of hates you because she also keeps sweeping dirt towards your area and she empties buckets in your general direction.

\------

You're walking towards the maintenance room when you see her.

She's guiding a crying small child. She seems to have gotten over your accidental inconvenience because she spots you and heads towards you.

She hands you over the child.

"Your responsibility now," she says without making eye contact. The action irks you but you resolve to focus on returning the child to his parent.

You think Carmilla is like a cat; they bring dead mice to their owners sometimes.

\------ 

After that, your thoughts on her develop to "annoyed generally and annoyed that I'm attracted to you". All the sexual tension is probably just from your part, though. 

And she really is not good at her job. After she handed you the child so rudely, you'd noticed she does things like that all the time to everyone. It really is unfortunate that you're so weak to pretty girls or you'd dislike her more strongly. What morals you have....

\------

Sometimes you're dared to get on the biggest roller coaster at the park.

While on it, you realize that every life has its many mistakes.

\------

Carmilla also likes to take your cleaning supplies. You put them down sometimes so you can get things done and it's not long before you see her walking away with your rag.

When you confront her about it she says she likes yours better because it's prettier.

\------

You don't ever see the owner of the park, but you are very well supervised by Danny even if she's not meant to be as involved on your area. You're both usually quite amicable but sometimes you can tell she's just after you for everything.

There is nothing wrong with your curious personality of course, even if you get distracted from finishing tasks.

\------

The weeks pass by very slowly and your days off go even quicker. You start measuring time by the amount of paychecks.

\------

Carmilla continues to hand you lost children for some reason. She doesn't bother explaining or saying thank you. She kind of just mumbles and walks off.

You wonder why she doesn't give them to other people when there are plenty of other workers.

\-----

You catch her lounging about while you clean up sticky surfaces. She's perfectly visible on the reflection of the side of the tiny roller coaster.

It makes you angry, to which she says, "That bunched up face you make when you're angry is hilarious, buttercup."

You spray window cleaner on her reflection. 

\-------

Time continues to pass both quickly and slowly. It's really annoying so you curse the system. 

The days are always long and the nights are even longer. 

She sort of flirts a lot with you. 

She's just incredibly bored. And it rubs off on you. You used to be a bit more cheerful about working.

Sometimes she looks at you a lot, brown eyes shining with the dramatic lights of the park.

You wish you could go the rest of your life without seeing the cheap prizes the booths offer.

\------

Amusement parks are made up of three things: vomit, loud people, and food.

But you love the nights when you can sit around and people watch. 

You find out Carmilla loves to watch people as well, although she'd never admit it vocally. You keep your distance but sometimes you see she's also observing the crowds with you.

\------

You're sitting on the floor of the maintenance room trying to tie your shoe with your broken shoelaces when she walks in. She just leans against the wall. 

She's gotten really good at wasting time.

"Work should pay for new shoes, this is the second pair that I ruin thanks to this place," you say.

"I do not care," she says.

You roll your eyes at her weak attempt.

"No one else is in here, you don't have to pretend to be a jerk, you jerk," you say and you walk out.

\------ 

The things you can't escape at work: the cleanups. 

At least she's always there so it sort of makes up for the lengthy job. Sort of. You like to argue with her to pass the time, and your small fights and arguments do help. 

It’s just that she’s become a little different on top of all the annoying.

She's still handing her tasks to other people. You're sure if she caught you looking unoccupied while she was busy she'd grace you with her tasks as well.

And you curse yourself for being pleased that she's around so much.

\------

About a month later you notice that she has bad days. Really bad days.

She's not necessarily meaner to you, she just has a different air about her, and you can tell it's not a good idea to question her about it.

So you don't ask and you keep a proper distance as sympathy.

\------

You don't flirt with her. 

As much as you could.

You want to wait and see if she's being serious or plain bored. 

You stare a lot when she's not looking, though.

And you wonder if you can get her to give you more attention by ignoring her.

She definitely tries to impress you, but you want to see how far she'll go.

Sometimes she does do something over the top to try to impress you: like when she set a torn up poster on fire.

\------

Tonight you're even more tired than usual so you attempt hiding away behind some tent. When you turn the corner you catch her pressed up against a pretty girl's back with hands down her pants. 

"Ugh Carmilla what the fuck!?" You indignantly say.

As you turn to walk away very quickly, she covers the girl in front of her and smirks back, "I'm trying?"

You toss your cleaning rag at her, kind of hoping you don't actually hit her.

\------ 

"Your ex girlfriend is awful and if I didn't need the money I would hit her with my car," she says to you one night.

She's wiping dust off a bench and it's ending up on you thanks to the wind.

You think back to your time working under Danny's direct supervision and (mentally) agree that she can be intense.

Not enough to deserve to get hit with a car, though. She's just not your type a girl.

(Do you have a type?)

"Carmilla you're literally throwing all the dirt at me. And she was never my girlfriend, okay?" You say in an attempt to close this topic, "Are you ever not annoying?"

"Ok, your fuck buddy excuse me."

You groan loudly and dramatically. Any words would only enable her more.

"I am not annoying when my mouth is busy," she says after a moment of silence.

Jesus Christ.

\------

At one point she starts working closer to you more often. 

You both walk around together, and you think that she probably does it so she can hand you tasks that aren't worthy of her effort. As she does. 

You keep true to your goal and avoid her as much as possible when she's busy. Since you were always busy and looking for something, she hadn't been able to bother you.

This is why you save your arguing for when you're both unoccupied.

\------

She really gets bold. 

She's close by while you clean a chrome surface of one of the rides, and you catch her checking you out. 

You simply say, "I can see you, you know. Reflective surfaces are such a great advancement from humankind."

She keeps her gaze and looks you over once more before going elsewhere to clean up some other shit.

The interaction doesn't intimidate you. You'd started feeling bold as well.

Of course you stare at her ass as she walks away from you, hoping that she can feel your gaze on her.

\------

On one of her bad days, you give her some tissue from your small Kleenex pack. You feel your heart get heavy when she gets like this and you wish you could help.

Your tissue produces a small smile.

That night you drive home smiling to yourself like you're Mother Theresa or someone. 

\------

It took long for you to give up in trying to not be attracted to her. You don't want to boost her already off the charts ego by showing it, though. 

But you do slip up.

"Like what you see?" She asks after she sees you staring at her while she's bent over.

You smirk and walk away.

It annoys you and thrills you that she sounded so seductive.

That's a problem for another day, you think.

\------ 

You catch her/walk in on her/spot her forming deep meaningful bonds with more of her "cleaning buddies". Several times.

They never really come back to work but you only wonder about what trick it takes to find it so easy to get a girl's attention like that. She probably ends things so badly that they just quit their jobs entirely.

\------

It's just Carmilla and you tonight. It's past midnight again. People on the weekends really do not care about not destroying the place.

They do care about not leaving prize tickets on the floor though.

Carmilla is hitting a surface softly with her rag as a substitute for wiping it clean.

She looks over at you and you sigh dramatically. You sit on the counter and say, "I'm taking a break even if it means getting out of here later."

She shrugs and looks over at you.

"Or we could go in there and make out instead," she says (very) normally.

You look in the direction she points at, roll your eyes and get up.

"Fine. I'm getting back to cleaning."

You watch for her reaction and she actually looks a little hurt (offended?) and disappointed.

\------ 

Every night gets colder and you try really hard to take assignments and tasks that require you to be inside. Either that or around a food cart. As long as you can be warm enough while wearing just a long sleeve under your uniform shirt, you're fine.

\------ 

One night she catches your gaze and with romantic eyes she says, "God I love this song, don't you?"

You roll your eyes playfully, "Carm, this is not an opportunity for you to not do anything again."

She slumps and dramatically sighs. 

"Well at least I tried?"

You laugh and nod.

\------

Carmilla does start to clean up more and she answers customers' questions. However, she leaves her rags around and usually no one else is around to pick them up but you.

If you were to leave gifts in return, you would leave something nice.

\-------

"Does it really work like that?" You ask, forgetting that the context to the question was all in your head.

"Does what work?"

"You ask girls if they want to make out with you and they do?" 

"Ehhh I guess it does but not so much when I really want it," she says while she walks away.

\------

You make a list of the pros and cons.

There are also questions.

If you kissed Carmilla would you also stop working there?

Would she be ruder or would she just ignore you?

\------

Even though you really miss kissing girls, you would also really like kissing someone you really liked and liked you back.

You don't know if you could do a fling or hook up ever again.

You kind of feel really guarded with yourself lately. You want to be taken care of.

So the list of cons is a lot larger.

\------

You're ranting about how the media covered Emma Watson's "feminist" (you do air quotes) speech in contrast to how it has been covering anything feminist by Beyoncé. 

She keeps agreeing with you and looking at you with really sweet eyes and you're not sure if it's because she really does agree or because you're annoying her or because she's being flirty.

"I plan on exploring the field of journalism, this is important to me on various levels you know," you say to clear things up.

She hums in affirmation and stands from where she's scrubbing the floor and approaches you.

You look at her expectantly: you have a need for approval sometimes.

She gets closer and closer. Her face is like half a foot away from yours. You breathe in deeply and really see how close she is.

"And yeah," you say. It feels like she was expecting you to finish.

You're really close together but you don't feel nervous. You don't remember the last time you didn't feel nervous being this close to a girl.

Whatever was going to happen next you'll never know because all the lights go off.

"Jesus fucking Christ why do they do this? Why do they keep us working so late and forget about us?" She's cussing away and pulling out her phone.

You nod even if she can't see you and follow her.

"Does this mean we can just go home?" You ask as you're approaching the entrance.

"You can, I'm sure but I'd get not only fired but worse if I left now," she says.

"Oh. Are you sure?" You ask. You really really really want to go home but you feel bad leaving her alone.

"Yeah go ahead, I'll just turn the lights back on."

You say thank you and walk off to get your things.

Something about this doesn't feel right, and walking to your car feels so odd and quiet. 

(You'd started walking each other to your cars about two weeks ago. The company has been nice and you got to finish/win whatever argument you two had started at work.)

And you look behind you and feel something strange. It's a lot like longing.

\------

You don't see her for two days and you try to remember if she said she was taking time off.

You eat the cookies you'd brought her to make up for leaving her alone and try to not think about her so much.

\------

You're talking to Danny when you spot her again since that night. She sees you and makes a mock disgusted face at you.

You kind of laugh but you’re cut off when Danny continues explaining your next job for you.

The park was running low on workers so you'd volunteered to help out Danny in her main section.

And that's how you are now assigned to the house of mirrors. Temporarily.

You wonder if you'll see Carmilla again soon, or if you'll even be able to talk to her at all.

\------

Working at the house of mirrors is interesting. You get to see a lot of different people and there is an absence of pink goo.

A lot of times you have to go find couples and escort them out due to illegal things happening in there. 

\-----

It's your sixth day working there and Carmilla finally makes an appearance. She's walking towards you and she’s feigning disinterest. You smile wide because you know the only reason she's there is probably you.

Or she's been reassigned as well.

She nods at you and says, "Hey."

"Hello, Carmilla," you say in your worker tone, "What brings you here?"

"I heard there's a rat infestation so I decided to take it upon myself to deal with it," she says looking disinterestedly around.

"God can't you say you missed me even one time?" You ask as you toss your jar of tickets at her.

She catches it and groans.

"Not really."

It's pretty empty tonight so you decide that it's fine for you to talk to her.

\------

She doesn't come by too often. 

You spot her walking towards you and steady yourself because she looks especially hot this time.

Her hair is up for the first time since you met her and you are thankful. You're not sure what you did to deserve the sight of her.

She looks down shyly when she gets to you so you come to your senses. You know sometimes your stare can be quite intense.

"Hey," she says as she kicks the rocks around lightly.

"Hey yourself," you say and you smile when she looks up.

\------

Tonight is one of the empty nights and she's sitting back against the wall on your stool ranting away her knowledge of some literary movement.

You're leaning against your desk and you realize at one point she'd placed her crossed legs in between yours. This makes you feel a little self conscious and vulnerable.

You come up with a reason to get yourself out of this interesting position.

You're straightening yourself when she also moves to stand. You both kind of freeze awkwardly and you stare at her face in search of guidance.

She blushes slightly and looks down before looking back up with a smirk.

"Hey cupcake if you wanted to give me a lap dance all you had to do was ask," she says and winks.

That does it and you laugh out loud. You step away to get your things organized.

She's checking you out again and biting her lip when you turn around once you're done.

You squint your eyes at her and she looks down shyly again.

"It's closing time," you say.

\------

Danny finally hires more people and she gives you the date of your final day working the house of mirrors.

You train the new employee and teach her everything there is to know about stopping illegal things from happening.

She's pretty and you kind of want to ask her out, but she's your coworker and you're definitely strong and not putting yourself through something like this again.

You don't go ahead with it and you're not really sure why. You think the biggest reason is that you don't want any more awkward moments at work.

\------

"Guess who is back," you say dramatically as you wring your cleaning rag.

She looks up and smiles.

"Good. Now I can do nothing again," she says while trying to hide her smile.

"You know, if you really wanted people to believe you don't like spending time with me, you shouldn't have visited me so much over there," you say as you turn away and start wiping dirt off, "All those people saw you talking to me."

\------

She looks unbelievably beautiful with this sort of lighting. Who knew that awful things such as amusement park rides could produce such artistic scenarios?

You think she probably looks incredibly beautiful under all lightings. 

"You're staring again," she says.

She really does look that good all the time, if you're honest with yourself.

\------

It's an empty night again, and she's been dancing to music all night long. This time she really has nothing else to do so you don't complain.

You also don't complain because you like looking at her.

"You're staring," she says.

"You're distracting me."

"Pay attention to your work, you might create a dangerous situation if you spill that."

"Maybe I will. You don't have the same effect on me that you did months ago," you say with a wink.

She shrugs and goes to get a drink of water from her water bottle.

You're cleaning the same countertop for the tenth time when she walks towards you.

You're suspicious but she's walking very surely.

When she gets to you, your shoulders touching, she looks down.

You're kind of just waiting for it at this point, your breathing is a little uneven too.

When she looks up to you again, her eyes are intense and lusty. You don't know if you should look away or keep up with her. She makes that decision for you when she slowly leans her head in.

You're eyes are about to close when she yells, "Ha! I knew it. Looks like you were lying, cutie."

She smirks at you, prideful and walks off.

Inside you're reeling.

\------

"Worst crush ever," you say with your face on your hands once you're in your car.

\------

Ever since the night she fake-seduced you, she'd been acting too prideful. You'd been working hard since then to keep your cool and gain some ground from that moment of weakness.

You're in the locker rooms changing into your work sweater when she walks in.

"Is it my birthday?" She asks in the most annoying flirty way possible.

"Is it mine?" You ask, matching her tone, as she starts changing to her work clothes.

She looks at the clock on the wall and winks.

"We've got a little time for a quickie, babe."

You scoff and walk out without a word or glance.

You're proud of that. That should mean you're winning now.

\-------

Whatever game this is where you compete on who is most attracted to the other while being the most uninterested is really helping with making time go faster. It's been getting in the way of work. 

Like now, when a child has witnessed a very innocent wink.

Danny calls you over to her and you feel like you know what's coming.

After she scolds you, you decide to put an end to it. Mainly because you don't like getting yelled at. Especially when it's Danny doing the yelling.

\------

So the thing about popsicles is that when it’s colder outside, less people buy them.

"Carmilla you need to stop that," you say firmly.

She ignores you and continues licking her popsicle in a very suggestive manner.

You stare and your imagination starts affecting you in interesting ways. 

She looks up, catching you with your mouth slightly open and winks.

"I hope it falls and ants eat it," you tell her before walking off.

“It’s winter so there are no ants!” She yells after you.

\------

It's been cold every day so you're getting empty days more often.

You're sitting on a counter, watching her try to seduce you. She's bent over wiping off absolutely nothing and flips her hair to turn to look at you.

"You really don't do much around here but stare at pretty girls do you?"

That sets off something and you stand. She looks at you challengingly and you firmly walk towards her.

"Hey cupcake may I help you?" she says before you grab her hand and pull her up.

She's about to say something else but you stop her.

"Shut it," you say a little too roughly, "Please for one second."

And that’s how you're now holding her hand and pulling her along towards the infamous house of mirrors. She doesn't protest or say anything else and walks just as fast as you, but you don't really want to let go of her hand.

You're about to open the door when out comes one of your coworkers, Kirsch. The whole time he was trying to get with Danny you never disliked him, but right now you're not so sure there is a reason to like him at all.

"Hey little hotties, what's up? Are you looking for something?" He asks cheerfully.

Carmilla lets go of your hand and mumbles something.

"I was showing Carmilla where the window cleaner is kept. Like the big container," you say as seriously as you can.

"Hasn't she been working here for months?" He asks in confusion.

"She doesn't do much around here except look pretty can't you see her?" You ask indignantly.

Carmilla takes her cue.

"Everyone's so rude to me around here," she says and walks off.

"Oh no come back," you say.

You both stare at her as she walks off. You are focused on her ass and Kirsch, you hope, just feels guilt for his actions.

“Damn, isn’t that tragic?” you ask, “Anyway, goodbye Kirsch, have a good one."

Kirsch, although confused and suspicious, agrees to go your separate ways.

\------

A weird fate has shown up and you haven't seen Carmilla in more than a day. You walk around a lot, pretending to be looking for something.

You spot her chatting up a pretty girl and you feel a bit competitive.

You're sure she sees you walking away.

\------

It's 8 days until your next night working alone together. She's singing along to every song that comes on.

She stops, probably because she's tired, and she kicks things around.

You're tired by now, like really tired. You feel restless to get home and sleep for around 13 hours.

So you sit on the counter and stretch out your arms. She comes to lean against it next to you. When you look at her she has a very different spark in her eyes. You had noticed how quiet you both were, something just feel different.

"So....," she starts, "Are we taking a break? We could go home sooner if we finished."

"Well I am but you don't have to," you answer, "Although singing must be pretty exhausting, I admit."

"I've been working hard all damn day."

She looks frustrated and like she's keeping a lot in, but she also looks content.

She looks around, everywhere but you. You think she's being weird out because she's hiding something. Maybe tonight is when she opens up to you.

"Do you want to go make out?" She asks nonchalantly.

God of course she would. You aren't going down that easily.

"You say 'go', but there are no people here," you say, "Is there a reason why you must go elsewhere?"

She dramatically looks offended.

"There is nothing romantic about this counter where people shoot rubber ducks from," she proudly explains, "And I know how to treat a girl."

You laugh out loud at that.

"Come here," you say, unfolding your legs and spreading them so there's room for her in between them. You sit back on your hands.

She obediently gets up and sets herself in between your legs. The counter is almost perfectly high enough that you're almost the same size with you sitting.

"Tell me your process of 'how to treat a girl'," you say challengingly.

She looks a bit nervous and that makes you feels powerful. 

"May I?" She asks, motioning with her hands hovering over your thighs.

"By all means," you say.

She places her hands on your thighs and they feel incredibly warm there. She moves closer so her legs are touching the counter.

"I like to have a lot of contact with my hands," she says as she slowly touches up and down your thighs, "Nothing too major at first. I keep this up until she is desperate for more."

You're still leaning back on your hands and you think this must be what a lap dance feels like. And you're glad that your hands are supporting you or you'd not know what to do with them.

You try hard to look interested, yet unimpressed.

"Go on," you say with polite boredom.

She doesn't falter.

"I keep eye contact," she looks deeply into your eyes, searching, "Like if I'm looking for something. Then I look down to her mouth. I do it so they know what I want and why it's distracting me from looking at their eyes."

Carmilla slowly leans in, very focused.

“God, are you serious?” You ask, “This takes too long.”

She looks offended and pulls back entirely.

“Yes, it really does work, why do you have to be so judgmental?” She asks with sadness.

“I’m sure it works for you but if I’m being honest, you need to revise all of this,” you say.

She pouts a little.

“Maybe I’ll show you mine sometime,” you say with wink.

She’s processing all that happened when you get up and walk away to finish.

“Wait, you have a process?” You hear her ask.

\------

You're glad this damn amusement park is in the outskirts of town because the stars make everything look so fucking picturesque. It feels romantic and not at the same time. It's a special kind of edgy. It's new to you and you know you need to take advantage. 

Her seduction technique demonstration earlier did leave you a bit horny and you feel you might explode if you don't kiss a girl (her) soon. 

She's walking close to you, rummaging through her bag looking for her keys. She's pretty under the moonlight. You think about this every time you walk to your cars together, but it's still noteworthy.

You wonder if she likes stargazing. You think about how pretty she must look with that much awe in her eyes.

"You know I'm counting on you to tell me if I'm gonna walk right into something and you can't inform me of this if you're staring at me, cupcake," she says without looking up.

You take this opportunity.

"Come here," you say, pulling her towards the broken light post and stopping there.

"Can I not register light or is this light post broken?" She asks sarcastically and she still doesn't look up.

You know she'll look up when she realizes you didn't answer with a competitively sarcastic remark.

She looks up and is taken aback a bit because you're looking at her. You look at her like she's yours.

And you step in her space and hold her head with your hands to pull her in. You're firm and precise and you don't miss. Her lips are slightly open in surprise and you take advantage of that. You breathe her in and you smile when you feel her react, even if a bit late. She's kissing you back carefully and you're still holding her face to match that care. After a long moment you speed it up, licking her lips and deepening the kiss as soon as she opens her mouth to you. She tries to suck on your tongue but you don't let her because you want to be the one doing that. She moans in your mouth and you smile because you knew she would be into that. She's still holding her bag in her hands and you press her against the light post with all of your body, as close as you can get. 

She's decided to compete with you on who does the best kiss.

You pull back when she drops her bag to bring her hands to your hips. She looks flustered as fuck and offended.

You stroke her cheek and bend down to pick up her bag. Her hands are still out, like sort of thinking they're still holding you so that you might come back and you hand her her bag.

She clears her throat.

"Thanks, I dropped that."

"You did cutie," you say, "So that's my process. As you can see, it's superior to yours."

She looks like an abandoned puppy and you feel a lot of different things then. So you lean in a bit and wipe her bottom lip with your thumb.

You turn to walk to your car.

"I could show you my others some other time," you say.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla's POV of this mess.

You know Laura likes you. Or she likes you physically at least.

It’s hard for you to tell but when she’s stealing glances at you the way she is now, you feel completely drawn in to her.

You tell yourself that it’s because you find it hard to read her. It’s your best reason to breaking your rule of “I’m never doing this again”.

And yes you have planned possible dates already, based on what you've learned about her.

Sometimes you admit to yourself that you don’t want to have your heart broken again.

You feel tired, that's as simple as it can get.

\------

You think a lot about that night and you think about all the things you could've done differently.

You could've thanked her, although that's silly. You could've walked her to her car. You could've opened her car door for her. You could've offered to carry her things for her. You could've kissed her goodnight.

You could've asked her out. 

\------

Laura never stops. She vibrates with energy, curiosity and positivity. 

It's especially intriguing when it's late and no one but her has the kind of energy she has. She's just so charismatic and her mind seems to always be going a thousand miles per hour.

And you love to listen to her rants.

\------

You love many things but two of them aren’t a secret: roller coasters and dares. And people somehow think you're intimidated by their rollercoasters-involved dares.

You think it's corny as hell that you love them because they make you feel alive.

\------

You've been working at the park for almost three quarters of a year and you've been trying to get brave enough to ask for a raise when you hit six months.

You pace back and forth near your boss' door but you know you won't go ask.

\------

You'd accepted long ago (five days) that you will be thinking a lot about that night.

It's not hard for you to admit that she's a really good kisser. You'd like to think that you're good too, from the results you'd gotten in the past.

But she doesn't seem to be on the look out for more, so you now find yourself hiding in a closet.

It's been more than a week and you're still struggling to find the right moment to bring it up. She still shamelessly flirts with you, although she does it significantly less like if she's holding back.

The door is slightly open and you're keeping an eye out for her.

"Hey, Laura!" You whisper-yell when she finally walks past you.

She looks around with confusion. 

"I'm in here dork, so don't ask if I'm your conscience, please," you say.

She spots you and heads towards you.

"Come in here," you say, lightly tugging her inside to the (opposite of) romantic unlit closet.

You're starting to feel really nervous and your heartbeat is rising.

"What are you doing in here?" She whispers with a cautious tone. You can tell her mind is going on and on about possible dangers that might have caused you to seek shelter.

You swallow your fears.

"I was thinking maybe you and I--"

"Carm this isn't high school," she cuts you off with a playful slap at your shoulder. She really is fast on figuring out (some) situations. 

But does she know you want to go on a date with her? Either way, you feel self-conscious because you know how old-fashioned that sounds.

Your heart is beating really fast now and yes it's also probably audible. 

You push yourself because you can't stop thinking that it's now or never.

"Well to be honest with you, I liked what we did the other night and I would like more of that to happen," you admit, "If that's okay with you, of course. And I didn't want anyone to interrupt us so I brought us in here."

You feel really proud of how honest you're being.

She stays silent for a moment and you study her face, barely visible in the dark.

After a moment she leans back against the wall and crosses her arms.

"You're hot and I know you know you are, but I'm not one of your girls," she says carefully, "And they're fine and I'm happy for you, I'm just elsewhere right now."

She finishes that sentence in a way that equates the ":)" smiley in texts, which kind of hurts you in a comical way.

At this point you're feeling like everything is falling apart really quickly so you don't formulate an elaborate reply. You're at a loss for words because you'd really thought that Laura would like to go on a nice date. 

"Okay, that's fine," you say trying to sound "okay" as much as you can.

She offers you her hand.

"We're fine?" She asks, shaking your hand.

"Sure, cupcake," you say. And you really are, it's her choice and that's all there is to it.

\------

"All we do is fucking clean vomit and dust that will never stop coming, I hate it," you grumble into your hands.

She sits next to you and pats your back.

"We clean spilled drinks too," she says and you laugh freely at that.

\------

You're walking around looking for something to disrupt your work and you see a crying child. You look around and head towards her when you establish that no one seems to be around for her. The familiar tug at your chest is already getting overwhelming.

You’re looking for Laura even before the kid takes your hand.

You feel silly and weak every time you do this, but youre grateful for how lucky you are.

Laura is too patient for her own good.

The kid is small, and you feel like you’re drowning.

Your whole body feels like it's carrying a lot more weight and it's hard for you to swallow.

When you find her, you don’t say a word to her. 

She rolls her eyes and almost says something sarcastic, but you walk off to cry in a bathroom stall.

\------

It’s never been a secret, to you or to anyone, that you love getting attention from pretty girls.

Since early on you figured out how to impress them and you've been doing it ever since.

So you're at a booth shooting darts at balloons and enjoying the way you slowly get the girl there all flustered.

"If you want, I can show you how to do this later, Elsie," you say with feigned disinterest.

She laughs when you wink at her.

"Sure thing, Carmilla," she says.

\------

Laura is bent over cleaning one of the ugly benches and you're eating another one of the surplus popsicles.

"Darling if you’re trying to seduce me, it’s not working," you say, hoping she'll turn around so you can do things to the popsicle with your mouth.

“I already did once, there’s no need for me to do it again," she says without turning around.

You know she's right.

\------

You're driving one of the golf carts with the excuse that you need another mop from the mop closet. If there even is mop closet. 

You see her in the crowd and she starts walking in your direction. She puts her arm out with her thumb sticking out.

"Take me for a ride, babe," she says with a wink.

"Wow, how bored are you?" You ask because you don't want to let yourself get blushy at her choice of nickname.

You stop to let her on anyway.

\------

It's night and it's one of the magical ones. You feel corny as fuck even thinking like that but the beauty of it is overwhelming you in a good way.

You're sitting at a counter and you're looking up at the sky. The window cleaner is in your hands and it's being tossed around with no thought behind the action.

You drop it to the ground just as Laura is approaching you and before you think about what you're doing, you're bending down to pick it up just as she's bending down to pick it up.

You curse the universe for this movie-like moment of awkward sexual tension. Hadn't you had enough of those already?

You're both a bit frozen and you realize you're both holding the container. She clears her throat but doesn't seem to be breathing evenly. That's a good position to be in, because you're not even breathing at all.

You don't look in her eyes and you don't want to look at her mouth so you look at her cheek, which is kind of weird and new for you.

When she doesn't say anything and doesn't move you look up at her eyes, and she's staring at your mouth. Her eyes look dark and the sight of that affects you in embarrassing ways.

You swear she starts to lean in slowly just as you say, "Thanks, I got it though, cutie."

You intend for your words to sound detached and flirtatious but you're at peace with the fact that they probably sound incredibly nervous.

\------

Although this job is temporary and you've got all your plans for your future, you'd kind of started getting ambitious here. You're even quite proud of all the problems you've helped solve and all the customers you've helped.

You're not happy you clean so much shit, though. 

You make it your personal goal to go ask your boss for a raise the next work day. 

You know you deserve it, you know you need it.

\------

You wash your work uniform with color-safe bleach, you clean your work shoes more thoroughly than usual and you put your hair up.

\------

Your boss doesn't give you a raise. She sort of mocks you and before you know it, you're walking out of her office with fewer hours.

You get the ugly feeling in your chest again and you spend a significant amount of time crying in the bathroom.

When you're out, you can tell Laura senses something's up and you're glad she'd decided to deal with your "moods" the way she does.

She gives you space.

\------

You're walking together towards the maintenance closet and you're really liking the music that's playing.

Good music is dangerous because it inspires you too much.

"If you could work elsewhere in the park, where would you work?" She asks.

"Do not smack me for this but wherever you work," you say, waiting for her reaction.

"Wow, look at you, how are you going to keep up that feelings-less pretense when you say things like that?" She says sarcastically.

"I'm just concerned as to who would bring me cookies," you say and you look away to hide your smile.

\------

The music is affecting you more often lately and she's probably picked up on this by now.

She suggestively looks at you when she catches you singing along to some song and you blow her a kiss. You know you shouldn't but it feels right in the moment.

"You don't want to do this, Carm," she shakes her head with a smile.

You wonder if mind reading will be a thing for you two.

\------

Sometimes you’re feeling brave and you tell her she has a nice smile, or pretty eyes.

To which she replies with, “Carm, stop…but thanks.”

\------

As it’s getting usual at night, you're sitting and she's cleaning. You'd stopped telling her she's doing absolutely nothing cleaning things that are already clean after she'd given you her deadly bunched up face glare. So you're kind of just watching her. Kind of. You're also watching for any higher people that might come by.

Laura really is pretty and she's incredibly charismatic. You think that if she wanted to lead a revolution to save endangered people, she probably could. If you were to take her out, you would take her somewhere safe where you wouldn't be interrupted by her martyr complex.

When she clears her throat you sigh at yourself because you don't like getting caught staring at her, especially when your surroundings look so romantic.

"You're staring again, Carm," she says as she straightens up.

"I was thinking," you say in an attempt to end the conversation.

"Oh yeah? About what?" She asks and she's walking towards you.

You do admire that Laura is so investigative and curious but in this moment, with the way her hips move and the way she rolled up her sleeves and the way her shirt shows off her body, you wouldn't complain if she let things go.

"I don't know, just a lot of things all at once I guess," you say and although you're good at keeping a straight face, you secretly want her to see the effect she has on you.

She's biting her lower lip and looking around.

It's been a long day and you just need a break from life but she's still getting closer.

"It's a lot, really, I wouldn't want to bore you," you pause when she's directly in front of you. That does hurt you a little bit because you really were thinking about dates.

"Or keep you from going home as early as possible."

She'd stopped looking around and her gaze is entirely focused on your mouth. Your entire body feels hot and you try to swallow or clear your throat to get the air moving in your lungs.

And she's still moving closer.

"Would one of those things be me?" She whispers, an inch away from your mouth.

"Would you like it to be?" You ask and you're very proud of what a good move that was because challenging her means you're leaving things up to her.

"It depends..." she starts.

She pulls back slightly but bites her lip again.

"It depends if you think I'm a good kisser," she finishes.

Your heart swells up at how good she is at this kind of thing. With her, you need moments just for admiration. You're aware of where you both are at the moment and you know you both want different things, so you really appreciate how softly you keep taking turns in moving forward. To whatever it is you're doing.

"You're not bad," you say in an attempt to ease the moment more.

She smiles knowingly.

She breathes slowly and that calms you. You bring your hands up and very gently hold her face as you lean in slowly.

You feel her react because she very lightly places her hands on your thighs.

You wonder if you're really at different places because what you're feeling now is the opposite of "different places".

She meets you halfway and you give in to a long kiss. You both part to breathe in slowly and she's the one to pull you in again. She kisses slow and warm. You want to be as gentle as possible.

Eventually you move your arms so they're around her neck, and she's close to you. Her hands move to hold your hips and you pull her in closer when she licks your bottom lip.

She's the one to pull back and you feel really shy suddenly so you hide your face on her shoulder. Only to collect yourself, of course.

"As much as I enjoy making out, I also enjoy sleeping on my bed for 12 hours straight," she says and you're glad she sounds happy.

\------

It turns out that Laura is one of those (beautiful, talented, charismatic, intelligent, etc) girls who like to steal kisses.

And your heart should've learned to keep calm by now because after she kissed you again, she’s been doing it whenever she gets the chance.

She still argues with you and grumbles occasionally, though.

\------

You’d started looking for a second job and part of you feels like you should tell her. It feels weird because there are things you don’t talk about with each other.

And it also shouldn’t affect you anyway because it would be a second job, not a replacement.

Thinking about what’s necessary makes you nauseous so you try to push the thoughts away for now.

\------

She truly surprises you when she closes the door of the maintenance room behind you, looking at you with very determined eyes.

"Laura it's daytime," you say as seriously as you can.

"You look hot with your hair up," she states.

It’s silent for a moment before you lean against the wall with your legs spread a bit as invitation.

She walks towards you to stand in between your legs and presses her body completely against yours.

Her hands are in your hair pulling you close and yours settle on her hips.

She kisses you heatedly in contrast to your lingering kisses and you smile against her mouth.

"Hey, I can't kiss you if you're smiling," she says, hiding her face against your shoulder. She's blushing and you grip her hips a little harder.

"Okay I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself, I'm all good," you say like you mean business.

She looks up and goes in for another kiss but she stops and hides her face again when she sees you're still smiling. 

"We don't have much time, oh my god," she says.

"Well we would if you and I went--"

"Carm, no, you have your other girls for that," she cuts you off and kisses you again before you can reply.

Somewhere in your mind, you wonder what she means by that. You're sure she knows you don't date the other girls. But the thought is lost because she really focuses on applying pressure to your hips with her own.

\------

You feel like you’ve established that Laura really likes to kiss you. You want to also find out if she’d like to go on dates as well. She keeps cutting you off but the way she looks at you sometimes makes you wonder if all hope is lost.

If past-you were to look at present-you, past-you would be so mad.

\------

“I can’t do things like these anymore, Carm,” she whispers against your lips.

You’d noticed that lately you’ve felt like she completely owns you and this moment is no exception.

“Like what?” You ask.

“This,” she says simply.

She leans in for another long kiss and she smiles against your mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she says in between kisses.

You don’t really know what she means because sometimes she’s really confusing.

She always leaves before you work up the courage to ask her out.

\------

You know Laura hates going home later than she should. 

You roll your eyes at yourself because you feel more at home with her here.

“This is so embarrassing,” you tell yourself.

\------

You scrub at the floor extra hard when you see happy couples at the park. You scoff because the park is completely unromantic.

"Exactly!" You yell when you see a kid miss the trash can on his way to throw up after the spinning chairs.

People look at you but you ignore them. If you weren't an employee you would glare at them, but you would get fired and you have vomit to clean up.

\------

“Can I have this dance?” You say, offering your hand to her mostly because she’s sitting on the floor.

“Can’t do that, I don’t dance,” she shrugs and smiles before continuing to scrub the floor free from the ungodly substance.

You pout freely because she isn’t looking at you.

\------

You’re standing close together supervising youths so they don’t get too rowdy and make a huge mess.

You yawn dramatically. 

“Way to show off how much sleep you’re not getting,” she says and you detect jealousy in her tone.

You have no reply because she’s got a point but you smile.

“What do you think of receiving flowers?” You ask her nonchalantly.

“I usually throw them away because they die fast anyway,” she says as she goes to pick up a discarded water bottle.

\------

You’re in the dressing room waiting for her so you can walk out together. She’s taking her time.

“Leave me be,” she says, “I am too happy about surviving this long shift that time is going by really slow for me.”

You smile.

“Whatever you say, cutie,” you say.

She pokes her head out from behind the curtain.

“Wait, don’t actually leave,” she says, “It’s scary walking alone in the dark.”

“Never,” you say.

She gets back in there.

“I’ll remember you said that!” She says.

\------

You’re walking towards your cars together and you’re listening intently to her newest academic rant. Most of what she says, you’ve already covered at one point, but these are some of the things you don’t talk about with each other. You wonder if that’s a problem.

That thought is out the window because you’re now standing by her car and she looks at you shyly.

“Sorry. I rambled again,” she says.

You shake your head and lean in for a kiss. She instinctively presses her body against yours and moans softly in surprise. Your kisses are long and slow and hers are heated and include a lot of tongue.

Goodnight kisses weren’t a thing you two did officially yet, but you have your reasons. You had established that she liked kissing you but there was no harm in finding out if she only liked it when it was in a semi public place. It’s not like you’re against adrenaline rushes anyway.

She wraps her arms around your neck and moves you so you’re against her car. You spread your legs to make room for her as she presses her body against you, and she responds with sucking on your tongue.

You’re settled in this very convenient position and you lose yourself in her, providing more inspiration or change when necessary.

When she pulls back she smiles and kisses your cheek.

“It was a long day,” she says.

You hum in agreement.

“Well it’s always a long day when you’re cleaning up vomit most of the time,” she admits.

“But anyway, I meant that we didn’t get any alone time,” she says with a pout.

“That’s okay,” you say sincerely.

“But I was horny,” she says flatly.

This makes choke a bit so you cough to hide it and you clear your throat.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you manage to say.

“Sure you are, cupcake,” she says and you laugh at the nickname.

She pulls away entirely and fixes her hair. You straighten up.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you say and you start to walk away.

“Goodnight, Carm,” she replies.

She’s looking for her keys in her bag when you stop and turn to her.

“Hey, Laura,” you say and you wait for her to turn around, “Would you go out on a date with me?”

She seems a bit taken aback by this because she drops her newly found keys. She bends down to pick them up and clears her throat before looking at you.

Your skin feels like it’s on fire and this time there is more than one reason. Your heart is beating really fast and you feel a bit nauseous thanks to all the high emotions.

“I’ll think about it,” she says.

You relax at that because it’s a huge improvement from when she wouldn’t even let you ask. And you give her a thumbs-up.

“Okay,” you say with a smile you can’t hold back.

“Okay,” she says back.

You’re turning to walk to your car, for real this time, and you smile to yourself fully.

“Hey, Carm,” she calls to you.

You forget to hide your huge smile when you turn to her. She looks down shyly and you do too.

When she looks up again she’s got a more confident look.

“Do you want to go out for some ice cream, and not popsicles, with me sometime?” She asks.

You look down and kick a rock as if you’re thinking hard about it.

“I think I would like that very much,” you say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the things I'm hinting at, I hope you all do too! And yeah it's less words, which I kept this way because Carmilla is very different than Laura that way. I had a lot of different ideas for a chapter 2 and this finally flowed out in one sitting (how I like to write). I hope you enjoyed :)


	3. Chapter 3

Dating someone is kind of cute. You are into this. 

You are bothered less by your dead end job. It’s nice how that works. When no one is around, you get to hold someone’s hand and you get kisses. Breaks are more than just that. And it’s just kind of weird how you change sometimes because of all of this. 

You miss having many witty remarks as opposed to a couple here and there, though. Her lips are unbelievably distracting to your genius. 

\------

But sometimes reality hits you.

Quitting your job is a good idea. It’s a good idea because it’s unfulfilling and it doesn’t pay well. It’s exhausting and you get a lot of late shifts.

What’s holding you back is what’s making things complicated. It’s not just Carmilla and what you’d like to explore more with her. Clearly that can all exist in different settings.

There’s just something really odd about all of it. It’s not very clear but it’s definitely there.

\------ 

You kiss a lot. You go on dates. You hold hands sometimes.

But it still feels like walking on glass bottles or whatever that saying says. It’s like if you’ve not felt what it’s like to have stability in a long time. 

A lot has been on your mind so you haven’t had the time to sit down and figure out why you feel like this.

\------

Sometimes you’re both walking around the park and a couple will pass by, no shame on the PDA and it gets really awkward.

\------

Your attractions towards people vary. That much you'd established long ago. And Carmilla does feel different. She feels different when she's looking at you and when she's touching you. 

It feels weird and new but you accept that it's happening. You accept what’s happening especially when she’s shoving her tongue in your mouth and holding your hips against hers.

\------

Sometimes it’s hard not touching her at all during your shift.

"If you think about it, at least vomit has never rained down on us," you say when she's feeling down while you sweep the floor around her.

She'd been sitting on the floor sulking and trying to avoid your charms. Your words make her look up at the roller coaster above and she gets up to go sit under a tree instead.

"You should help me. Our job is to clean," you say in a weak attempt to get her to do something else.

"You're doing just fine by yourself, cupcake, a broom is not meant to be operated by two people."

\------

You're talking to Danny trying to kill time. She's getting a bit flirty with you and you don't see why you shouldn't go with it. You’re not into her anymore but she’s there and you’re bored.

In your defense, yes, you're into Carmilla but you’d not had an exclusivity talk, much less the girlfriend talk, and she hadn't replied to your text. Certainly that’s how things work with this sort of thing. 

Your mind simply needed a distraction. It's sad to you that she hadn’t replied because that had been one of the riskier texts you'd ever sent her.

After realizing you both were often too busy for plenty of quality time, you'd started sending her texts ranging from flirting to the occasional sensual photo. This had been a very effective form of socializing with her especially while you were both working separately. 

Also, sometimes she was too far away for you to tell her that her ass looks very nice when she bends over like that. Yelling across sections, when children are present, is inappropriate. Bills need to get paid, food needs to be purchased.

Work goes by so slow these days anyway.

\------

It's later that you realize Carmilla is the jealous type. Even if you're not really anything official, you still think it's cute she gets affected this way. It’s something you plan on looking into soon. Soon. After you figure out other things.

“Are you mad at me, Carm?” You ask.

She grumbles and you pout while holding her gaze like a challenge. Establishing where you stand, as a person, did not take long with her. She approaches you and kisses your cheek.

“Maybe I just don’t feel like sharing you right now.”

\------

It turns out that Carmilla has been kind of not present lately because she keeps getting called in by the boss. She's not always upset like she is when she's in trouble but it's still giving you weird vibes.

You'd been in the boss’s office once and she's terrifying to you. You'd also always pushed those thoughts aside, though, because she'd given you the job right away.

Carmilla obviously doesn't want to talk about it, so you try very hard to push your insatiable curiosity aside.

\------

“If this were a movie I would be walking around secretly popping kids’ balloons with a needle.”

She’d been a grumpy mess all day, but you haven’t caught her crying in a while. That’s good. You’re glad she seems to be doing better.

The way you both have gotten closer to each other, in your own way, feels really nice to you. It's your special way, really different, something that others wouldn't really understand. It just feels like there is a lot said "behind the scenes" of your interactions, sort of like through mind speaking. At least when you’re at the park working. It's weird but nice. It's a very strange kind of bonding. That plus having her tongue in your mouth so often probably does things to people's connection.

You’re sitting close together on the side, watching people. Her hand is close to yours and you have a strong urge to hold it. The air around you feels electrifying in the best way and you really want her.

The moment is lost when a small child spills his slushie.

\------

You're telling Carm stories about school. She's pretending to not be interested, but it’s not hard to tell she’s invested in this.

When you mention the dangerous situations you get yourself into, she frowns and looks at you peculiarly.

She knows better than to tell you to back off, though. Hours of rants about your love for investigations have shown her there is no changing your mind.

You wonder if you'd be able to get Carm to help you out next time you have a possibly dangerous curiosity.

\-----

You’d cleaned a lot during the day so you’d felt you needed a break. A break at night when the park was closed to customers. One of those when it's only you and Carm around. Those are nice.

All thanks to you, there wasn't a lot left to do. As soon as something needed cleaning, you'd been there. That's how you'd ended up with time to kill. 

She’s kissing you in the most careful way. She’s so gentle and full of fire at the same time and you love it. It feels good. It's the familiar heated need and desperation that you love to engulf yourself in.

And you're not as patient and calculating in the way you're rushing to make her moan. You don't balance each other, you fight. She tries to slow you down and it's not quite what you need at the moment.

When her hands start wandering all over your body, you feel an interesting new spark in your heart. It’s not the first time you’ve felt it but it’s one of the first times you’ve felt it with her. Everything feels hot when she’s moving that way anyway.

It kind of turns you on more. She's incredibly good with guessing what you love.

You pull back when a thought comes to mind.

“Carm, how come you never tell me about your life?"

She tries to kiss you again but her evasion of the question only fuels your curiosity. This is why you need to have more conversations with words and sentences instead of tongues and wandering hands.

“Do you have any pets?” You ask, and she tries to kiss your mouth again. You hold her hips firmly, to stop her from doing good things to you.

“Do you have any siblings?” You dodge another kiss and it ends up on your nose.

She holds you close and buries her face on your shoulder.

“I’m really hurt, am I not worthy of you?” You ask her as you take control and push her, with a gentle firmness, against the wall.

She’s trying to hold back laughter at this point and you can’t resist kissing her mouth.

"When will you let me take you out again?" She asks in between kisses. 

"Like on a date?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go now."

\------

You'd gotten home late from your improv date.

It was cute. She's very cute. It feels very easy with her but it also feels like there is something missing. You can't really figure it out and you know you will once things in your life get better. When she'd opened her car door for you, you'd felt things that people associate with crushes and things. It's very distracting. Everything about her draws you in more.

So work today had been feeling awful. Sleep is something you cherish, but although you feel like you're a living corpse now, she'd dropped you off at your house and kissed you good night. It’s what’s keeping you on your toes.

Your phone vibrates and you open up her text.

"How do you look so beautiful with such few hours of sleep?" It reads.

You look up at her where she's standing, not too far from you. She shrugs and you wink at her.

Her next text is the cute smiling emoji.

\------

Halloween is approaching and the park has plans to be festive. Halloween is okay to you but what is not okay is having to clean up ten times the amount of crap.

“You know what would be really creepy?” You ask.

She’s sitting in front of you with her feet up and crossed at her ankles on your lap. The popsicle she’s been eating for too long is melting on her hand, and she keeps licking it suggestively. She motions for you to go on anyway.

You've gotten incredibly good at looking unaffected. She doesn’t need to know that all the unresolved sexual tension has got you wet already.

“If they played that creepy carnival music and the tents were all haunted houses,” you say.

“I think the only one that would be creepy is the house of mirrors.”

The way she licks her lips and wipes her mouth makes your imagination take you elsewhere.

“We should fuck in there.”

She drops her popsicle.

\------

Kirsch is being overly happy. He's being overly happy trying to show off his dart talents to you.

You'd come to visit him to ask about the annual party he holds at his house in celebration of Halloween. Everything was set and he even said you could invite your girlfriend, to which you'd replied "she's not my girlfriend". She hadn't shown up to work yet and the crowds were light so you'd stayed with him.

"A good bro knows how to aim right and hit the target," he says. 

"I'd rather not hear about why you need to aim and hit targets in the first place. As a bro," you reply.

He really is good at that game, though.

"Do you want to give it a try?" He asks with a big smile. He's a good guy, very gentle with his excitement.

"Sure!"

You make half the shots and he gives you a small stuffed puppy as your reward.

When you turn around to scan for any work you might have to get done, you spot her. She's wearing knee high socks and some very admirable shorts. She really is good at fashion. Not many can look that good with the uniform shirt.

And yeah you're thinking about all that you could do to her with your head in between her legs.

She sees you're staring and winks at you.

"My eyes are up here," she mouths. You laugh and shake your head.

You pull your phone out and type in your thoughts to her.

\------

"Hey cutie, what does this mean? Throwing water at me? Rain? And what does the tongue sticking out mean? Why is there a peace sign?"

"Figure it out."

\------

She's sitting down in a chair in the break room and she's eating yet another popsicle. The late shift is about to start so you know you need to take advantage of the minutes before the last push in hell. 

You walk towards her and she doesn't pay attention to you. Those socks look really good on her. In your short, but effective, experience with women, you’d never given a lap dance. You’d never felt so inspired to give one until now.

She finally looks up when you straddle her.

The break room is not the ideal setting for a lap dance, much less your first. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what you can with what you’ve got for future reference.

She licks her lips and stares at yours. You brush her hair away from her face, gently putting it behind her ear. With all her staring she's left her popsicle unattended and it's started to melt. Surely that’s a problem. You lick whatever's dripping, looking up at her. She's holding it very tightly and clearly not breathing.

"It means I want you to cum in my mouth," you say, since you know she hadn't figured out the meaning of your earlier text. 

\------

The job is annoying and unfulfilling and the park has taken a very specific joy from your life. At least the place is old and there are no cameras.

Making out during your breaks and in the after hours shift is now your favorite thing to do. It's no secret that you want to do more to her than kissing and grinding. You're still waiting for life to stop getting in the way. Your friends were really taking advantage of your misfortunes to create jokes. It’s all a mess and you still haven’t figured out what to do.

Sometimes, when things are getting really heated and good, she kisses you very delicately. You'd noticed she does this before, but it's until now that you really figured out the pattern. 

This is something you want to explore.

\------

Once again you’d successfully seduced her.

You hold her hips against yours and push her against the wall. She curves her back, her body fully against yours. Her hands had begun feeling you up under your shirt long ago but you suddenly feel like her touch burns you. 

In your mind you're thinking about the odds of getting into trouble if you took this further. With the luck you have, someone would probably show up and catch you in your horny moments of despair. The more she gasps and moans into your mouth and against your skin, the less you care about consequences.

You unbutton her jeans slowly.

"Wait, wait, are you sure you don't want to wait? I mean I really want to do this but this isn't the best place..." She's saying.

"Even if it's really quick?" You ask with a slight whine. This is one of those moments when you feel you'll explode from sexual frustration.

"I'm starting to change my mind," she says, "But you should still come over to my place sometime."

You stop then. Something feels different. She’s been doing a lot of that lately. And you give her a kiss on her cheek before pulling back entirely. 

"That's okay with me," you say, smiling. You're a bit out of breath. You're feeling a lot of things.

She is blushing and she looks beautiful. You’re kind of in awe of her.

“Can I have another kiss, though?”

\------

Carm had gotten called in by the boss again and she'd returned quite shaken up. You'd told her she could go home early and that you'd finish up. And you’d considered, not for the first time, to have a word with the boss. If Carmilla wouldn’t talk to you, maybe you could get the boss to back off.

In trying to make her feel a little better, you’d sent her selfies with captions varying “missing you”s to keep yourself from sulking.

\------

Carmilla looks especially hot today. Her hair is up.

You pull out your phone and type out a text to her. You stare at the screen before you send it. It reads “meet me in the break room, let’s fuck.”

You hit send.

\------

She walks inside the room shortly after you get there. You stare at each other and you’re sure your eyes are dark with lust because she looks a bit shy under your gaze.

You lean against the wall and motion for her to come to you. She walks over to you, mostly looking at your chest and at your lips. It’s a miracle she doesn’t trip on a chair.

“I think we need to talk about how hot you look today,” you say when she gets to you.

She pushes your legs apart gently with her thigh and presses it slightly against you.

“We need to talk about other things first,” she whispers in your ear.

“As much as I want to come in your mouth, cupcake, I would rather not get arrested,” she says.

"You know what, you're right. Hooking up at work is highly unprofessional," you say.

“This place isn’t what I would call professional,” she says, “But what I mean to say is that it’s not that I don’t want to, I think a lot about what it’d be like to come in your mouth, you know.”

“You’re making this really hard.”

“Excellent choice of words, cutie.”

\------

You spend a lot of time wondering why Carmilla keeps working at the park even though she hates it. As you get to a place in your life where you can quit, you worry more and more about her.

\------

“Would you leave with me?” You ask her one night.

She’d actually been cleaning, which had been worrying you. When she pauses and takes her time replying to you, you worry more.

“What do you mean?”

“Leave this job. I know we can still…see each other outside of this place, but I’m worried about you,” you’re saying, trying to not ramble, “I can just tell there’s something going on.”

“I don’t really think I could do that anytime soon.”

You decide to drop the subject.

\-------

You’re laying down on a bench and she’s cleaning. You’d asked her for help because you were tired and she’d calmly gone through with it. She hadn’t given you any snark and you were just really happy to get some rest.

You silently watch her, and you catch yourself smiling a couple of times. It’s really cute when she throws the rag inside the trashcan in frustration. She’s just really cute when she’s all grumpy.

Eventually she finishes and you wait for her to come over to you. After all, the kissing is the best part of working the late shifts.

She motions for you to sit up and when she sits she invites you to lay your head on her lap. She plays with your hair and you look up at her, admiring her face.

“Kiss me,” you say.

She leans down and you meet her halfway, grabbing her shirt and holding on to keep your balance.

“Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it,” you say when you break apart.

“Well I didn’t help you for you to kiss me but you’re welcome,” she says with a small smile.

“You’re really sweet, you should stop hiding it.”

“How else would I keep my air of mystery?”

\------

You’re feeling a little turned on in the break room later when you both go in to change.

She usually turns around when she’s changing but this time you want her to watch you get undressed. You want her and you take a deep breath before making your move.

“Carm, I’m feeling needy tonight,” you say.

She stops and slowly turns around, curiously. You’ve got your shirt in your hand and you’re standing quite confidently. It’s cute how evident it is that she’s trying very hard to keep her eyes on your face.

You drop your shirt. Her eyes remain on your face. She blinks a bit too much as you unbutton your pants but she doesn’t look down.

She finally looks down briefly when you unzip your pants. Taking off your pants can be left for her to do, though.

“Should I undo my bra myself or do you want to do that?” You ask her.

She takes in a deep breath and looks into your eyes as she walks towards you. You match her step walking backwards until you hit the wall and you lean against it right as she reaches you. The cold wall makes you arch your back away from it, so you take advantage of that and pull her against you. Her hands run down your sides and settle on your hips.

You lean in for a kiss and she pulls your hips against hers as she meets your lips.

“Exactly how needy are you feeling, cupcake?” She asks when you pull back to breathe.

“Like a lot,” you say, before going back to sucking on her bottom lip.

One of her hands moves to trace a line right above the waistband of your pants and you gasp a little, your hips thrusting up. She smiles and removes her hand completely but before you can protest, she’s unhooking your bra. As you let it fall to the floor she wastes no time kissing all your newly exposed skin and you’re really hoping she’ll be leaving hickeys.

Her other hand takes over tracing a line over your waistband and it’s not long before she shoves it in your underwear. Your head falls back against the wall when she rubs your clit with her fingers, spreading the wetness.

After she’s done kissing your chest, she focuses her attention on removing your pants and underwear in one go. They’re left discarded on the floor and you’re pushed against the wall again, two of her fingers quickly finding your entrance and fucking you firmly.

Her mouth is attached to your neck and you’re thankful for that because you couldn’t possibly kiss her right now. Your eyes are shut and you engulf yourself in the pleasure you’re feeling. 

You’re interrupted by her pulling you in for a kiss just as she starts rubbing your clit with her thumb. The kiss fails instantaneously because you gasp and moan at the feeling. She takes the opportunity to shove her tongue in your mouth, though, and you plan on getting back to her by sucking on it. 

While you try to catch your breath again, you work on thrusting up against her hand. You’re breathing hotly against her mouth and she keeps kissing you. Your kisses are incredibly sloppy and probably embarrassing but her mouth on yours is something you really appreciate while she’s fucking you.

You’re getting closer to coming and you’re not sure if you should let her know. She can probably tell anyway, evident by the way she’s speeding up her rhythm. She’s so firm and she’s biting your lips in between kisses while you breathe and moan so you’re not sure you’ll last much longer.

As the sounds coming out of your mouth get more high pitched and frequent, you begin to lose yourself in your nearing orgasm. And you’re about to come when she stops and kisses you once more before getting on her knees. You’re a bit disoriented so you let her hook your leg over her shoulder as she goes straight to kissing your clit.

Your head falls back and you shut your eyes at the feeling of pure pleasure from how roughly she licks and sucks on your clit. You don’t know what to do with your hands but it’s getting hard to stand without her supporting you so you tangle your fingers in her hair. It’s getting to be too much again and she starts fingering you again.

You can’t help but pull her hair and grind on her face as you get closer to coming again. You feel the heat of it building up again and you feel like you’re going to pass out from pleasure. She jerks her head up suddenly, giving you enough pressure on your clit to send you over the edge. Your eyes are shut tight and the waves come crashing down on you. You moan loudly and gasp her name and curse and you can faintly tell that you’re probably pulling on her hair too much. You grind on her face to ride out your orgasm and she continues to suck on your clit as you do.

It takes you a while to recover and breathe even again. She stands back up, licking her lips and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. You’re looking at her with half closed eyes, completely blissed out and you have a strong urge to kiss her.

You reach out and grab a hold of her shirt so you can pull her in for a kiss. The taste of yourself in her mouth makes you moan and at this point you’re not even ashamed of that.

She smiles into the kiss and strokes your cheek softly.

Eventually she pulls back and bends down to get your clothes, handing them to you so you can get dressed. She looks specifically at your face while you get dressed and she has this glow to her that makes your heart feel like it’s swelling.

“I’m glad we had this talk,” you say, smiling at her.

“Yeah, me too,” she says and she’s blushing slightly.

“You’re very good at talking.”

“Thank you.”

You get as close to her as you can without touching and lean in.

“So do you want to come to Kirsch’s Halloween party with me?” You ask into her ear as you shove your underwear in her back pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, guys, thanks for sticking with this despite the long wait! I appreciate all of you! Quick comment on this from me, though: I feel like my contacts are going to eat my eyes so I didn't revise it. I'll probably revise tomorrow and fix all my mistakes. Again, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I set up a sideblog for anyone who wants to come talk to me about these things! It's clandestinaworks. And as many authors say, I'm not sure if I should continue this story! But it's an option


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